This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
