I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize
