I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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