He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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