It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
