After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize