Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
