so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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