I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
