chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
