This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
