We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
