No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
