Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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