i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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