i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize