In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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