I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
