Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
