She said her name was "party"
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
