who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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