she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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