Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
