I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I believe in your delicious
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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