so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
