She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
