Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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