We're facebook friends in real life
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
