just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize