dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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