The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
