Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
