He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
fuck your aforementioned shoe
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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