I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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