Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
