I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
