Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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