my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize