Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
