I bet he comes in French.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
