i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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