Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
