if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The best revenge is premature balding
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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