just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
