Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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