I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
