what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
