People in love make me want to vomit
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
