I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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