Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
