was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
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