How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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