Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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