theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
