You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
