thus making me awesome and them whores
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
