Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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