you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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