Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
