Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I lost the right to judge tonight
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