Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
don't judge my taste in strippers
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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