can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
