Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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