I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Don't make out with my wife yet
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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