i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
