I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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