If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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