I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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