she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
