Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
