I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
