I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize