You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
