do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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