apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
