I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
