It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize