what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
