Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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