I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize